By BBP Intern
Not by the hair on his chinny chin chin.

Not by the hair on his chinny chin chin.

Everyone can remember their first picture book, the first book they read without anyone else helping them, but how many of us remember the authors?  Kids don't have to read anonymous writers' anymore since many celebrities have cashed in on the child reader market:  Tyra Banks, the Prince of Wales, Glenn Beck, Juliane Moore, Michael Phelps, Jay Leno, to name a few. Even if the kids don't appreciate the famous authors, their parents sure do.  A marketing ploy? Yes.  Is it working? Apparently.  Hopefully not everyone picks up on the trend though.  Here are some well known people we really hope don't plan on entering the children's literature sphere.


Lindsay Lohan

She might have started out as an innocent freckled girl, but not anymore.  At 26, she has spent more of her adult life in prison and on probation than she has being free "on the outside."  With her DUI's, theft, and frequent trips to rehab and jail, she'd probably be too busy to sit down and ghostwrite anyway. Though, She could probably write an inspiring cautionary tale.


R. Kelly

If his "Trapped In The Closet" music video series--with all the violence, sex, and STD's--is any indication of his story telling ability, I'd be scared to see what he'd come up with for kids.  I'd just hope it doesn't involve anymore minor related golden showers. His picture book would most likely be censored -- for everyone's sake.


Alec Baldwin

Though we all love the funny and slightly narcissistic Jack Donaghy, there aren't many fans of the way he talks to his own children. If he were to venture into the world of children's literature he should write about the consequences of bullying, a trendy topic among kids books these days. Though, his book would be from the perspective of the bully himself.


Kristen Stewart

With her lack of expressive facial expressions, Kristen Stewart doesn't seem like a kiddie type, but who knows what's hiding behind the eyeliner? For all we know, she could be an inspirational life force waiting to happen. Or whatever.


Gordon Ramsey

All his cursing, seared scallops, and tossed greens is not going to win over the toddler crowd.  Though he probably prepares a killer mac and cheese, the fact that he'd probably bitch slap a kid for over heating a piece of pizza in the microwave makes me hope he sticks to making grown men cry.


Maury Povich

Maury knows the ins and outs of family dynamics, though it just so happens to stem from paternity tests and baby mama drama. His take on fairy tales would probably involve plenty of chair throwing and the occasional hair-pulling fight. Again, it could work as a cautionary tale.


written by Rebecca Hoffman