Everyone can remember their first picture book, the first book
they read without anyone else helping them, but how many of us remember
the authors? Kids don't have to read anonymous writers' anymore since many celebrities have cashed in on the child reader market: Tyra Banks, the Prince of Wales, Glenn Beck, Juliane Moore, Michael Phelps, Jay Leno, to
name a few. Even if the kids don't appreciate the famous authors, their
parents sure do. A marketing ploy? Yes. Is it working? Apparently.
Hopefully not everyone picks up
on the trend though. Here are some well known people we really hope
don't plan on entering the children's literature sphere.
She might have started out as an innocent freckled girl, but not anymore. At 26, she has spent more of her adult life in prison and on probation than she has being free "on the outside." With her DUI's, theft, and frequent trips to rehab and jail, she'd probably be too busy to sit down and ghostwrite anyway. Though, She could probably write an inspiring cautionary tale.
If his "Trapped In The Closet" music video series--with all the violence, sex, and STD's--is any indication of his story telling ability, I'd be scared to see what he'd come up with for kids. I'd just hope it doesn't involve anymore minor related golden showers. His picture book would most likely be censored -- for everyone's sake.
Though we all love the funny and slightly narcissistic Jack Donaghy, there aren't many fans of the way he talks to his own children. If he were to venture into
the world of children's literature he should write about the
consequences of bullying, a trendy topic among kids books these days. Though, his book would be from the perspective of the bully himself.
With her lack of expressive facial expressions, Kristen Stewart doesn't seem like a kiddie type, but who knows what's hiding behind the eyeliner? For all we know, she could be an inspirational life force waiting to happen. Or whatever.
All his cursing, seared scallops, and tossed greens is not going to win
over the toddler crowd. Though he probably prepares a killer mac and
cheese, the fact that he'd probably bitch slap a kid for over heating a
piece of pizza in the microwave makes me hope he sticks to making grown men cry.
Maury knows the ins and outs of family dynamics, though it just so happens to stem from paternity tests and baby mama drama. His take on fairy tales would probably involve plenty of chair throwing and the occasional hair-pulling fight. Again, it could work as a cautionary tale.
written by Rebecca Hoffman