With April Fools Day around the corner, you'll need a couple of go-to jokes on hand to survive the onslaught of pants-ing and Google pranks awaiting you. While some may turn to the likes of Louis C.K. or Aziz Ansari, we head straight to ... the library! We scoured the beautiful New York Public Library archives for the oldest humor books we could find, and once we did away with the volumes (and volumes) of casually racist jokes, we found our favorite outdated gems.

Vices

Old timey joke runners absolutely loved poking fun at drunks, chronic smokers, and the people who deal with them. We advice against using these jokes at your next AA meeting.

*Laugh, Man, Laugh* by Salvi G. Zlotogorski (1939)

*Toaster's Handbook* by C.E. Fanning (1878)

*Fun for the Millions* by Carl Hauser (1915)

Americans

Many of the old books we found were written by Europeans, so it's no surprise they loved a good joke or two about the old colonies. We recommend one of these jokes the next time you want to seem cosmopolitan at your next trip to IKEA.

*Still More Toasts* by Helen M. Muller (1932)

Abraham Lincoln

Did you know Honest Abe was considered a bit of a comedian? If these anecdotes are a testament to his wit, we assume his humor was very subtle. Like, Milford Man subtle.

*Abe Lincoln's Jokes* by Max Stein (1943)

The Rich

It's not just presidents who have a sense of humor but the upper crust as well. Throw in the occasional hobo joke, and you'll have the crowd at Bergdorf's yukkin' it up in no time.

Depressing

Though, it's not always fun and games. Some of the jokes are rather depressing and will warrant you a resounding womp.

Dirty

Once you shake off the blues, treat yourself to these "dirty" jokes. Keep in mind these were simpler times, in which PG-13 stood for "Parents, Grandmas, and 13 year-olds."

Marriage

Nothing got joke writers on a roll like the subject of marriage. Without the hallowed institution, humorists would have never tapped into the cash cow that is mother-in-law jokes.

Kids

With marriage comes the baby in the baby carriage. Just make sure CPS isn't on the other line whilst telling these.

*1001 One Minute Stories* by H.S. Chapman (1927)

Women

Welcome to the motherload. Nothing tickled the funny bone of an early century humorist like women. Best of all? They got to play a variety of roles: idiot, spendthrift, hussy... The possibilities were endless.

Women Suffrage

The only thing more hilarious than women? Women voters!

New Jersey

But if those fail to get a laugh, there is always the default punchline...

Credit: Etsy user Elizabeth Fedorko.