By Kate Gavino

After Mad Men's  parade of mishaps and disasters on Sunday, one thing was clear: Don Draper is Kanye West. What two creatures are filled with more self-loathing, regret, arrogance, and self-destructive tendencies? Not to mention their reputations as lady killers. (Though, Yeezy is still in the honeymoon phase with his very own "perfect bitch" Megan, Kim Kardashian.) See if you can tell the men apart based solely on their pearls of wisdom. And if you fail? It never happened. It will shock you how much it never happened.

1. "Change is neither good nor bad, it simply is."
2. "You know what the Midwest is? Young and restless."
3. "They say home is where the hate is."
4. “I’m living like there’s no tomorrow, because there isn’t one.”
5. "You want some respect? Go out and get it for yourself."
6. "I had a dream I could buy my way to heaven."
7. “Let’s take it a little slower. I don’t want to wake up pregnant.”
8. "Reality is catching up with me, taking my inner child."
9. "I just blame everything on you. At least you know that's what I'm good at."
10. "I'd rather argue with you than be with someone else."
11. “Maybe I’m not as comfortable being powerless as you are.”
12. "Somewhere far along this road, he lost his soul to a woman so heartless."
13. “Is this a substance much like bullshit?”
14. "Fear stimulates my imagination."
15. “I blow up bridges.”