AWP Conference in Boston, and the same question burns in everyone's mind: Free swag? Free swag!

"/> The Strangest Free Swag at This Year's AWP Conference — The Airship
By Kate Gavino

It's Day 1 of the AWP Conference in Boston, and the same question burns in everyone's mind: Free swag? Free swag!​ I trawled up and down every aisle to see what booths had to offer, and I was impressed. Gone are the simple totebags and pins of yore. Instead, merchandising has stepped up a notch. Here's a rundown of the strangest swag I came across.

The drafty convention center AC will undoubtedly leave your lips chapped, but these folks have got you covered. Every time you moisturize your lips, think: BOOKS!

​I saw people walking around with these frogs clinging to their hair, making these toys the must-have accessory of AWP13. We think Alexander McQueen would approve.

When you blearily reach for a cup of coffee in the morning, what's the first image you want to encounter? Write like a motherfucker​. The famous ​Dear Sugar quote is just the thing to start your day, though we don't recommend it as a Mother's Day gift.

Feel free to pretend these squishy eyeballs turned stress balls are the Eye of Sauron, preventing you from finishing your novel.

Speaking of stress balls, they're on the verge of becoming the new totebag. ​Perhaps this had something to do with the exhibit hall's infuriating wifi connection.

What happens at AWP stays at AWP. Get one of these temporary tattoos instead of the real thing, and that's one less thing to regret the morning after.

I didn't try one of these since I chose to believe this was an elaborate prank to get writers to eat real rocks. There's a metaphor in there somewhere.​

Fiction on (fake) cigarette packages? Genius. The surgeon general should do the same. Have Sam Lipsyte write a paragraph about smoking, and cigarettes will never seem sexy again.

Finally, someone found a way to ensnare the elusive lobster-loving crayon demographic.​

Question: What's more mysterious than a pinata full of swag? ​Answer: Someone riding AMTRAK back to New York carrying a pinata full of swag.

​Fortune cookies are a bore. But red​ fortune cookies? Red fortune cookies ooze sex appeal.