By Kate Gavino

Have you had your brain hacked into lately? If not, you may want to pencil that in.

Though if you're like Bartleby the Scrivener, we understand if you'd prefer not to.

Although some people would prefer a lobotomy rather than listen to holiday music, even the good stuff.

Maybe if Andrew W.K. gets some egg nog in him, he'll even write a few.

Then again, with the right facial hair, anyone is capable of anything.

Add coffee to the equation, and you're all but unstoppable.

You'd probably even have the power to find islands that possibly never existed.

Just have some poignant last words in mind if you never make it back.