In preparation for the weekend, prepare for some drunk texts from your favorite literary rockstars.
Just don't overanalyze them to a Louie CK-esque point of smart-dumb self-hatred.
Besides, why are you texting when you can be using a typewriter instead?
Or better yet, write your next novel on a roll of two-ply Charmin ultra.
If anything, it will add to your legend, should you decide to pull the ultimate literary hoax.
Just make sure you don't end up in a Japanese love hotel with the press following you.
Otherwise, you'll end up back home, living with your parents and sleeping in your childhood bedroom.
And how are you going to explain that to your kids?