By Kate Gavino
Transient

With the death of the author, Helen Gurley Brown, one can't help wonder what Cosmo would have been like without her.

Perhaps they would have gone the Vogue route, and featured famous authors in their fashion spreads?

Or maybe they would've taken a stark, realistic tone and alerted readers about the latest rise in potent STDs.

Though such a grim article could probably use some Lenny Bruce-like levity.

Or you could always hit up one of the top 10 richest authors to throw some literary bones your way if the subject isn't to your liking.

If all else fails, you could always retire to Argentina, where aging writers get a nice little pension.

Just don't take the same route of Dave Eggers' Zeitoun's hero and wind up in jail.

How do you think that kind of incident will look on your college transcript anyway?