If Marilyn Monroe had won an Oscar, the alternate history would have turned out very, very bad for her.

Though not as bad as the vampire scare going around in New England -- and no, these vampires do not sparkle.

Perhaps we're just going to have to meet the real life version of Dracula, and who knows? He could be perfectly charming.

But if you're looking to treat a recent vampire bite, don't trust all the medical advice you find on the interwebs.

But if you're going to turn to books, make sure you know the true origins of any used ones you may happen to come across.

That alone could be a strong case for shaping your brain to be only accustomed to ebooks.

But then again, where will all your crazy marginalia go?