By BBP Intern

When planning a trip to Brooklyn's Barclays Center, don't expect your bottle cap to come with your meal.

But have no fear: that insignificant token will not be etched in your memory like that hasty tattoo of your mediocre talents.

Looking to drown that shame? SantaCon is scouring NYC streets for this years best drunk Santa imposters.

And the candidates have tripled, as Americans just do not give a shit about their minimum wage jobs.

To help pass the time procrastinating at work, you can stalk Snapshot Serengeti's African animals online.

Or maybe the faux zebra-skinned NFL refs of 2012 will suffice?

Now what REALLY tops the list of horrible ideas for 2012? Edible iPhones of course!

At the very least, just be thankful for the government mandated future of two decibel commercials.

Story by Alta Swyers