By Freddie Moore

Herman Melville's masterpiece brought to Tommy Wiseau’s The Room-depth ruin — and a drinking game to accompany it!

Bad movies have a shameless, cult-like power to bring people together. After The Room took its crown as the Citizen Kane of bad movies,” theatres were quick to capitalize on the occasion by screening it in Rocky Horror Picture Show-style. Its fanbase swelled as viewers joined together to shout “Hi Mark!” and throw plastic utensils at the screen. At their worst, bad movies make us laugh; at their very best (which, in this case, is even worse), they bring us together.

2010: Moby Dick film poster (via I Spit on Your Taste)

2010: Moby Dick is a classic as far as bad movies go. It poses as a modern interpretation of Herman Melville’s novel brought to viewers by the director behind Robocop 2. Its cast includes Barry Bostwick (otherwise known as “Brad” from Rocky Horror) as Captain Ahab alongside Renée O'Connor from Xena: Warrior Princess, who replaces Ishmael as the story’s newly added “whale expert,” Dr. Michelle Herman. (Pun intended.)

On the surface, the film is based on the book: It’s the ultimate story of revenge sought by a captain who’s had his ship and leg taken from him by a giant sperm whale. As a modern retelling, though, Ahab is a submarine captain and his strikes against the whale involve torpedos, machine guns and nukes. (Yes, nukes.) Not only that, but 2010’s version of the whale doesn’t stick to the ocean; he “swims” over mountains and even flies to attack Ahab and his crew.

Film still of Moby Dick taking the land by storm (All stills via author)

Naturally, a film of this caliber needs a drinking game to accompany it. For those down to booze it up, we suggest having a drink any time:

1. Submarine emergency sirens sound;

2. Ahab says the word “whale”;

3. Race awkwardly enters the story (same thing goes for any time something sexist is directed at Dr. Herman);

4. Someone listens to sonar whale sounds;

5. Moby Dick makes rabid bull noises;

6. Someone says the word “hunt”;

7. Anyone tries to say anything remotely scientific.

Film still of Ahab pointing a rocket launcher at Moby Dick’s eye

We all let our guard down for bad movies, in part, because they’re not to be taken seriously. 2010: Moby Dick should be held up as one of the great man-versus-beast bad movie classics, like Deep Blue Sea or Snakes on a Plane. It may be ridiculous, but that’s part of its charm. It’s a film you could watch alongside anyone — book lover or not — and still have a blast.

Freddie Moore is a Brooklyn-based writer. Her full name is Winifred, and her writing has appeared in The Paris Review Daily and The Huffington Post. As a former cheesemonger, she’s a big-time foodie who knows her cheese. Follow her on Twitter: @moorefreddie

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