I'm on self-imposed True Blood exile. Return readers might already know that I much prefer this vampire world. But the Deep South bloodsuckers just threw me a major hook: Iggy Pop and Best Coast's Bethany Cosentino teamed up for a song to be featured on True Blood's July 8 episode.

Punk's gnarliest godfather crooning it out with a tattooed surfer chick nearly four decades his junior? Music to my ears. Cosentino banishes much of her freshman haze for bluesy lyricism on Best Coast's latest album, The Only Place, while ol' Iggy balances his Stooges standards with French jazz (Préliminaires). His softer side and her robust vox could equal an awesome jam. I'm tuning in.

Historical evidence supports such cross-generational crossovers. Consider Loretta Lynn's award-winning comeback Van Lear Rose, produced and co-written by Jack White. Taking it back further: Nat King Cole's “Unforgettable,” remixed as an imagined—destined, really—duet with daughter Natalie, which won multiple Grammies.

But thoughtful musical match-ups need not rely on interactive technology or sexy vampires. Here's several I think would rock out:

Marilyn Manson and Zola Jesus

Anybody remember 1997's Spawn soundtrack, a well-intended if obtuse blend of popular rockers and trendy electronica? Its sole single found the goth demigod dominating trip-hoppers Sneaker Pimps. Pair Manson with pint-sized Zola, though, and she'll unleash the operatic angels of heaven, hell, wherever onto the Antichrist Superstar's pallid ass.

Björk and tUnE-yArDs' Merrill Garbus

Uh, obvs? Even if we overlook the vocal elasticities of these two, consider Björk's instrumental minimalism on Vespertine and Medúlla, plus Volta's added horn flava. Pair with Garbus' looped percussion and Whokill's sax riffs, and we just made some serious “Bizness” up in here.

D'Angelo and Frank Ocean

The swaggering Soulquarian D'Angelo ends his sabbatical with a long GQ interview—his first since 2000—a Bonnaroo SuperJam with ?uestlove, and more to come. Meanwhile, R&B wunderkind Frank Ocean readies his major-label debut Channel Orange, more a soul-music tutorial than typical pop drivel. If D'Angelo channelled quiet-stormer Smokey Robinson on “Cruisin',” then young Ocean, who has written for John Legend and Beyoncé, is more than ready to make his own neo-soul waves.

Lou Reed and Lana del Rey

Within Reed's lauded back catalogue, I particularly dig his circa-Velvet Underground rasp against Nico's torchy croon. Enter del Rey, the “self-styled gangsta Nancy Sinatra” (quotes The Guardian), woozy balm to Reed's yowl. For the del Rey naysayers: consider Madeline Follin, the hippie-chic songbird of NYC noise-poppers Cults. Follin's self-lacerating delivery more than matches Reed's solo work. She could do wonders covering The Bells.

Massive Attack and Jessie Ware

The trip-hop progenitors bear a nonpareil CV of guest vocalists for their somber soundscapes, including Shara Nelson (“Unfinished Sympathy”), Tracey Thorn (“Protection”), Elizabeth Fraser (“Teardrop”), and Sinéad O'Connor (“Special Cases”). I recommend adding English singer-songwriter phenom Jessie Ware to that lineup. Her sometimes-slinking, sometimes-searing delivery echoes Martina Topley-Bird (precocious veteran of the Bristol scene, singing with Tricky when she was still a teen). I've got my ears attuned to August 20, when Ware's debut Devotion drops.

Images: Iggy Pop + Best Coast: Pitchfork (slightly photo-chopped by author); Jack White and Loretta Lynn: Buzznet; Marilyn Manson:Devangelical + Zola Jesus: Facebook; Björk: Rubyfruit Radio + tUne-yArDs:The Oedipus Project; D'Angelo: GQ + Frank Ocean: Consequence of Sound; Lana del Rey: Berlin Hair Baby + Lou Reed: ROKPOOL + Madeline Follin: Impose Magazine; Massive Attack: Greenobles + Jessie Ware:Pitchfork

Think your childhood diaries are bad? At least you didn't post them on the Internet.

Though, nothing could be as disastrous as the pairing of Axl Rose and Lana del Rey.

Perhaps in an alternate history, things between them could even make sense.

Then again, Abe Lincoln could've also been a vampire hunter, so who knows?

We might as well live in the present and just attend thought-provoking readings instead.

Just make sure you bring along a correctly sharpened pencil to take notes with.

Don't be caught texting, or you could get a snappy response. Possibly from Madam Secretary?

In short, just behave. Readings can be hard work, so let the readers do their best.

Otherwise, you might as well just go record shopping instead.

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Is there a point where the editor edits too much that it ceases to be the work of its author?

The answer to that question may make a good plot for a literary-themed crime novel.

Though crime novels are coming under fire now that crime itself is on its way out in the big bad city.

Good thing you can still turn to the movies to see some good examples of breaking and entering.

But just be careful since you don't want to end up with a lousy obituary.

Maybe you could hire Ben Marcus, whose literary star is on fire right now.

At the very least, you'll never be as ill-remembered as Lana del Ray is right now.

Photo credit: Mask for 'Day of the Dead' (dia de los muertos) in Mexico Photo: Getty images

How to foster writing talent? Providing writers with a tax break could be a good start.

Especially considering that people aren't buying books to read them any more.

Maybe more people should publish their dream journals. Henry Miller and Anais Nin certainly approve.

Then again, some nightmares are too real to ever be forgotten, at least to Brian Williams.

Perhaps if Lana del Ray had gone anonymous, things would have turned out better for her.

Or... or... or... or...

Or maybe people should stop trying to ban books and take a minute to actually read them.

If they did, maybe we wouldn't run the risk of another blackout.

Image: s-perkins0912-dc.blogspot.com