By James Rickman
Transient

To celebrate the release of Tenacious D's new album, Rize of the Fenix, I offer a glossary of expressions minted by "Hollywood" Jack Black and Kyle "Rage Cage" Gass. Even if their scatological, F-bomb-laced vocab didn't completely infect yours when the first album came out in 2001, the early press surrounding Fenix suggests that you will succumb this time.

First, a refresher. Everything you need to know about the D is contained in this one episode of their short-lived HBO series. Warning: if you want your asses blown out, watch this right now.

And now, scoop up the first D album and follow along as we unfurl...

F+ TO THE D: THE UNOFFICIAL TENACIOUS D GLOSSARY

Cleveland Steamer — Oh god, off to a bad start. I'll just say that, in addition to referencing this unspeakable act in "Rock Your Socks," the D once screened up shirts for a fictional little league team called the Cleveland Steamers. Which is just wrong.

Fucking Kockaoss (?) — No idea what that second word is, but Jack screams it toward the end of "Inward Singing," just before Kyle quits the band. Good for toe-stubbing.

Inspirado — "It arises from a stillness, a quietude." Fun fact: the scene in which Jack describes this particularly epic strain of inspiration (see video above) is based on the Apocalypse Now documentary Hearts of Darkness. The part where Jack swallows a bug? Brando did it first.

Malibu Nights, Tangerine Dreams — Sing this in the pinched wail of Bon Scott whenever you need to improvise lyrics. Just remember that there are things that rhyme with "Malibu" other than Jack's choice, "makin' a poo." (See the very end of "City Hall.")

Next song. Next song.  Use this whenever you've done something with extra fluency, as when Jack created an entire song out of one note and a "bendy thing." (See "One Note Song.")

Now You're Talkin' Double Team — They may be singing about JB-on-Kyle-on-girl action in the song "Double Team," but this phrase is has limitless applications: Two coats of sunscreen? Now you're talkin' double team.

Oils and Perfumes — Accoutrements to bring to your next Double Team.

One, Two, Three, Kick It — Say it slowly and menacingly whenever you need someone to do something, as Jack does in "Inspirado" just before Kyle quits (again). If the other party fails to comply, shout "Could you one time kick it what the fuck?!!"

Put Some Stank on It — I should mention that I was stoned the first time I watched "Inspirado," which only partially explains why I almost died laughing around the 4:40 mark.

Quelch — Here's the LA Times, quoting the band's new single: " 'The fiery heart of a champion cannot be quelched.' (Yes, that's an original Tenacious D term.)" 

Rrriggagoogoo, giggagoo-g-goo — This is actually Jimmy Fallon impersonating Jack (1:29), and it might be the funniest ten seconds of Fallon's career. ROCK!

Rock Hard Tasty Abs Washerboard-Style — What you have to do in order to roll with the D. Rise from the couch and yell this at your life-partner every time she or he leaves for the gym.

Smokin' up a Bigass Bowl of Weed — This, from "Kielbasa," can replace "Smellin' like Indonesia" as the thing you say upon walking through a cloud of marijuana.

That's Fucking Teamwork — The key to a loving relationship, as outlined in "Fuck Her Gently."