I have a great idea. Let's take all these books down, cut them up, and sell them as jewelry to people on the Internet.

Credit: Flickr user maong. Used with a Creative Commons license.

Voice of Lizzy Bennet and she of zero tolerance for bullshit Jane Austen once said, "The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid.”  I'm not saying people who make stuff out of book pages are stupid. I'm just saying people who buy stuff made out of book pages might want to pause and buy a copy of Pride and Prejudice instead. Here, a selection of the sometimes puzzling, sometimes admittedly kinda neat (yes, neat) items made out of books, for sale now on your local Internet.

Take solace in the fact that Austen would have had a similarly adroit response to the idea of this Jane Austen "Purse Handbag" and eReader Cover. There's also this Hemingway version for those of us who like to show off our more masculine side. With our purse handbags.

Well, at least form and function makes sense here. However, the Charlie and The Chocolate Factory edition is a little dubious. Also, how exactly do you mount this thing?

Are birds known to be big fans of Mr. Theodore Geisel? Are birdwatchers? What exactly is the purpose of this? Where am I? 

​Like many of the items listed here, this "Book Assemblage" wall decoration elicits the reaction of "Huh," followed by, "Is this, like... a thing?" Also, it's $350. Three hundred fifty American dollars. 

To be fair, the same seller's hanging sculpture made out of a biography of Gertrude Stein is pretty.

So is this lovely necklace, which is made out of pages from Fifty Shades of Gray (of course it is). It's unclear what texts some of the shop's other offerings come from, but it's safe to say that they probably aren't Shades of Gray, which makes me feel better about liking them. 

This one makes me smile. Every thirteen-year-old dork with a Visa Buxx card should be able to wear a quote from a book that made her cry around her neck. There there, young one. College is gonna be great. 

​I blame design blogs for the sale of stacks of aesthetically-pleasing books, which is apparently a common practice. I can't hate on a lovely robin's egg blue palette, but bookshelves need integrity, dammit. How else are you supposed to judge a potential friend or lover? Their personality? I can only hope that the future owner of this stack of gems eventually decides to look up Elinor Glyn-- or even read her book.